From Fashion Designer to Philosopher

Joy follows you like a shadow when you are your authentic self.

The face can wear joy like a mask, as the spirit wrestles with despair.

When I was in my early twenties, I lived in the party capital of Australia: the Gold Coast in Queensland. It was the eighties, I was a fashion designer, and for me, another night meant another party!

In those days, it was all about glamour. The more glamorous you were and the more glitter you had, the better off and happier you’d be. At least, that’s what everybody told me.

And while I wasn’t really into any of it, I was more down-to-earth than that; I was misguided into false illusions of happiness. I was led to believe that succeeding as a fashion designer would make me happy and give me the life that dreams were made of, but nothing could have been further from the truth.

The only thing I succeeded in achieving was living a counterfeit life. On the surface, I was all smiles and shiny—everyone thought my life was perfect—but underneath the facade, I was miserable.

I had to do something. I had to change because if there was one thing I was sure of, it was this: No amount of partying or material success could fill the aching void I felt within.

Cutting a Different Cloth

After two years of searching and attending countless “spiritual” courses, I found what I was looking for on the other side of the country in Perth, Western Australia.

There, I attended a retreat, read a book¹, and met the author. He was incredible: cool, calm, composed, full of wit, wisdom, and humility.

They say that when the student is ready, the teacher appears, and I couldn’t have been more ready. Six weeks later, I was in India, studying Vedanta—India’s ancient philosophy and best-kept secret.

Consequently, today, I cut a very different cloth. I get up each morning at the same time I used to stagger to bed! I practice being true to myself and live an AUTHENTIC life based on giving rather than taking.

Before going to India, I was deluded, selfish, and unhappy. It was all about me, me, me. Only when I studied philosophy did I discover the connection between selfishness and unhappiness. I realised that the more selfish we are, the less happy we will be. And the more selfless we are, the happier we will be.

Be True to Yourself

Being yourself means disconnecting from your ego and connecting with who you really are. We can take this lesson of authenticity by simply observing nature.

Take a moment and walk outside. Notice how every flower and plant is an exquisite expression of itself. Each one is what it is. A rose is a rose. A tree is a tree. They aren’t trying to be anything other than what they are. And that’s what makes them beautiful.

Animals are also perfect manifestations of themselves. They don’t fight against their true nature. They are what they are. And that’s why we love animals.

So, too, we are who we are. Yet, unlike nature and animals, our ego gets in the way and prevents us from being ourselves. It wants us to believe that we are someone we are not, just as my ego wanted to define me as a fashion designer living on the Gold Coast.

This was not who I was. It was a false version of me. But, at the time, I didn’t know who I was meant to be. As a result, I craved acceptance and approval from others. I wanted to fit in and be liked by everyone I met. I put on an act to impress while trying to camouflage awkward feelings of inadequacy.

To avoid this, we need to connect with who we are. Below are three steps to help us achieve connection with our true Self:

1. Set the Connection Direction

Before embarking on any journey, it’s crucial to know where you’re going. Otherwise, how can you expect to get there?

The journey you are about to embark on is the connection with your authentic Self. Setting this goal as your highest priority will give your life direction, purpose and meaning.

Without a direction, you will aimlessly drift through life—and not get anywhere. As Lewis Carroll said: “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.

2. Discover What You Love

To help you unravel the mystery of who you are, you need to wind the clock back to when you were a child.

Our childhood reveals a great deal about ourselves, and if we don’t acknowledge this stage of our lives, we miss valuable indicators as to who we are now meant to be.

So, what did you love to do as a child? If you can’t remember, ask your family and relatives. They should be able to assist. Otherwise, find a quiet time and a place where you won’t be disturbed and ask yourself these questions:

1. What is the one thing that makes you truly satisfied?

2. What makes you feel like you are in your element?

3. What were you designed to do?

4. What makes you feel like you wouldn’t want to be doing anything else?

5. Which activities make you lose track of time?

6. What makes you come alive?

7. If you were to teach something, what would it be?

8. Imagine yourself at 85. What would you regret not having done in your life?

Reflect upon these questions every morning for a period of, say, two weeks. After some time, the penny will drop. You’ll have an epiphany. You’ll suddenly realise that this—whatever this is—is who you are and what you are meant to be doing.

3. Do What You Love in a Way that Helps Others

Once you discover what you love, work in a way that benefits others. Most people work only to benefit themselves and perhaps their immediate family—and they wonder why they’re unhappy.

To be happy, work unselfishly. But beware of ego. Make sure you don’t allow yourself to feel superior. Don’t fall into the ego trap of ‘I am the doer’ or ‘I am the best.’

To avoid the ego trap, be like nature and work selflessly.

When we are true to ourselves and do exactly what we are meant to be doing, without expectation of return or reward, we are selfless, and we gain everything we want in life: peace and contentment. Then, as Buddha says, “JOY follows you like a shadow and never leaves you.”

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My writing is my gift to you. Your gift to me (if you choose) is reading and applying the lessons in your life.

All the best,
meredith

1. Vedanta Treatise is the book that changed my life.