I spent 15 years chasing this sort of happiness high. But as you describe Meredith, it’s always fleeting. Every time I felt I reached the mountain top, the immediate next question was…”what’s next?…and so the goal post kept moving.
It took me achieving every metric of success to finally realize that achievement or climbing the ladder or anything external was never going to fill that gaping hole inside of me. And I don’t think that hole ever fully goes away (especially for high achievers) but I do think you can work on making it smaller and smaller by turning inwards and working through what’s actually missing.
I’ve come to realize that true happiness isn’t a high. It’s a gentle hum in the background of everyday life. But that hum is the sweetest music to listen to. Beautifully written Meredith, this one hit home.
Loved this one, as always. You inspired some words, so I shared this post with a little paragraph you inspired. Thank you! 🙏 😊
Other words (haha):
I used to have a little decoration that said “happiness is a choice.” It used to tick me off— I was so unhappy, I was like, “I didn’t choose any of this.” But I kept it and defiantly tried to “choose happy”, just to prove it wrong. Haha! I ended up being schooled.
I have had a chronic pain condition for the last 12 years. It came on suddenly and for no reason we have been able to identify. It was the begining of my awakening. At that time, I remember spiritual teachers saying "pain is inevitable, but suffering is option." Same as you, that statement made me want to rage. But, I eventually cam to understand it, and for the most point, live into it.
I’ve watched happiness travel exactly the way you describe. I remember being convinced that the next thing — the achievement, the relationship, the calling, the recognition — would finally settle it. And each time, it felt absolute. Final. “This is it.”
And then… it moved.
Not because those things were bad. In fact, some of them were beautiful. But the glow softened. The center shifted. And I found myself scanning the horizon again.
Your sunlight metaphor resonates deeply. I’ve come to see how much of what I called “happiness” was actually my own longing poured onto something external. I gilded it, like you said. I baptized it with my hope. And then when it dimmed, I thought something was wrong — with the object, or with me.
The idea that the light never migrated — only my attention did — feels both unsettling and freeing.
I also resonate with your distinction between the changing self and the witnessing Self. There is something in me that has watched decades unfold. Watched success rise and fall. Watched relationships begin and end. Watched seasons of fire and seasons of peace. And that “something” has remained steady.
That recognition has changed how I hold things now.
Less grasping.
Less chasing.
More noticing.
Thank you for writing this from lived experience. It doesn’t read like theory. It reads like someone who has stopped running.
Thank you Kevin for your generous words. 34 years learning studying reflecting contemplating on eternal wisdom —not chasing, not hurrying, not wanting to prove myself in any shape or form. There is a saying: fill yourself with knowledge as a lake fills with water. The animals will come to drink. People will come to learn.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder. The practice isn’t about acquiring happiness—it’s about removing the obstacles to recognizing it was here all along.
So beautifully expressed and written. The happiness is YOU. Once this is recognised happiness as one's own true nature...the search for happiness falls away effortlessly. Thank you for your clarity and being able to show through so many vivid examples the TRUTH. By the way I was so into barbies...They were my everything...but somehow they fell by the wayside when I found boys...
Your Article is so so True and Clear! - Happiness is the Spirit that lives within - it is the Spirit of who we Are - To Know Thyself and if we are lucky enough to be aware, we will connect with our inner self and know true happiness, as you have written, "it cannot come from anywhere else" Thankyou Meredith(*_*)xx
Thank you, Amilia. Glad you liked it. i had fun writing it. Did you listen to the voiceover? You're right, true happiness cannot come from anywhere else. Always great to hear from you xx
We need to be more mindful for ourselves…to nuture our inner peace. To look for the “glimmers” which brings us small joys, a tangible slice of peace. Stop chasing “things”…trying to get the next step, the next important milestone…catch our breath, close our eyes and look deep. It is now.
I love this—thank you. You’ve made something subtle feel obvious.
It’s not just that happiness doesn’t live in things—it’s that we keep trying to hold it there.
It’s like putting your hands in a stream. If you try to keep the water by clenching your hands, you come away with nothing. If your hands stay open and adjust with the current, you get all the water you need.
Happiness keeps moving. The Self doesn’t. Our job is simply to stay open enough to remain in contact with both.
Meredith, that idea of happiness moving really rings true over time. It’s easy to keep chasing the next place it might be. Slowing down and looking inward shifts things in a different way.
I spent 15 years chasing this sort of happiness high. But as you describe Meredith, it’s always fleeting. Every time I felt I reached the mountain top, the immediate next question was…”what’s next?…and so the goal post kept moving.
It took me achieving every metric of success to finally realize that achievement or climbing the ladder or anything external was never going to fill that gaping hole inside of me. And I don’t think that hole ever fully goes away (especially for high achievers) but I do think you can work on making it smaller and smaller by turning inwards and working through what’s actually missing.
I’ve come to realize that true happiness isn’t a high. It’s a gentle hum in the background of everyday life. But that hum is the sweetest music to listen to. Beautifully written Meredith, this one hit home.
Thank you Tanveer. Love the way you describe happiness as a subtle hum; that’s exactly what it is.
Tanveer my friend, consider yourself blessed for understanding this.
Loved this one, as always. You inspired some words, so I shared this post with a little paragraph you inspired. Thank you! 🙏 😊
Other words (haha):
I used to have a little decoration that said “happiness is a choice.” It used to tick me off— I was so unhappy, I was like, “I didn’t choose any of this.” But I kept it and defiantly tried to “choose happy”, just to prove it wrong. Haha! I ended up being schooled.
So glad you liked it Jennifer. And love your "Happiness is a choice" story.
I have had a chronic pain condition for the last 12 years. It came on suddenly and for no reason we have been able to identify. It was the begining of my awakening. At that time, I remember spiritual teachers saying "pain is inevitable, but suffering is option." Same as you, that statement made me want to rage. But, I eventually cam to understand it, and for the most point, live into it.
Wonderful essay Meredith. I very much enjoyed listening to you also. Happy Writing!🤠🤙
Thank you so much MJ. I've listened to you many times and realised that the voiceover brings a new dimension to one's work - makes it more personal.
Thank you, I really needed to read this today.
If this was useful you will like the next one, coming soon.
Meredith, this one stopped me.
I’ve watched happiness travel exactly the way you describe. I remember being convinced that the next thing — the achievement, the relationship, the calling, the recognition — would finally settle it. And each time, it felt absolute. Final. “This is it.”
And then… it moved.
Not because those things were bad. In fact, some of them were beautiful. But the glow softened. The center shifted. And I found myself scanning the horizon again.
Your sunlight metaphor resonates deeply. I’ve come to see how much of what I called “happiness” was actually my own longing poured onto something external. I gilded it, like you said. I baptized it with my hope. And then when it dimmed, I thought something was wrong — with the object, or with me.
The idea that the light never migrated — only my attention did — feels both unsettling and freeing.
I also resonate with your distinction between the changing self and the witnessing Self. There is something in me that has watched decades unfold. Watched success rise and fall. Watched relationships begin and end. Watched seasons of fire and seasons of peace. And that “something” has remained steady.
That recognition has changed how I hold things now.
Less grasping.
Less chasing.
More noticing.
Thank you for writing this from lived experience. It doesn’t read like theory. It reads like someone who has stopped running.
Grateful for the mountain perspective.
Thank you Kevin for your generous words. 34 years learning studying reflecting contemplating on eternal wisdom —not chasing, not hurrying, not wanting to prove myself in any shape or form. There is a saying: fill yourself with knowledge as a lake fills with water. The animals will come to drink. People will come to learn.
those 34 years are a gift! Thank you for sharing the wisdom you have learned with us
Thank you for this beautiful reminder. The practice isn’t about acquiring happiness—it’s about removing the obstacles to recognizing it was here all along.
That's it. Removing the obstacles like removing the dust on the mirror. It's right here.
So much truth here, thank you! <3
Beautiful-thank you from my 💜 to yours.🔮💃🌹
🤍🤍🤍
I so enjoyed reading all your posts. Have a fabulous Friday cherishing the wonder of view. Thank you for your service.❤️🩹❤️🩷🌹💃🔮💜🙏🧚🏾♂️⭐️🧚♀️
Im with you , at 75 I understand exactly and Ayurveda Philosophy is with you too ☸️
Hello Linda!
🙏🎁
It’s certainly an inside job!
Aloha
So beautifully expressed and written. The happiness is YOU. Once this is recognised happiness as one's own true nature...the search for happiness falls away effortlessly. Thank you for your clarity and being able to show through so many vivid examples the TRUTH. By the way I was so into barbies...They were my everything...but somehow they fell by the wayside when I found boys...
Oh Rachel, thank you for the laugh. Yes, me too. Barbie went flying out the window when i discovered boys!!!!
Your Article is so so True and Clear! - Happiness is the Spirit that lives within - it is the Spirit of who we Are - To Know Thyself and if we are lucky enough to be aware, we will connect with our inner self and know true happiness, as you have written, "it cannot come from anywhere else" Thankyou Meredith(*_*)xx
Thank you, Amilia. Glad you liked it. i had fun writing it. Did you listen to the voiceover? You're right, true happiness cannot come from anywhere else. Always great to hear from you xx
Loved your articulation here. You have explained most complex human problem in such simple way. Really admire this 🙏🙏
Great post!
We need to be more mindful for ourselves…to nuture our inner peace. To look for the “glimmers” which brings us small joys, a tangible slice of peace. Stop chasing “things”…trying to get the next step, the next important milestone…catch our breath, close our eyes and look deep. It is now.
I love this—thank you. You’ve made something subtle feel obvious.
It’s not just that happiness doesn’t live in things—it’s that we keep trying to hold it there.
It’s like putting your hands in a stream. If you try to keep the water by clenching your hands, you come away with nothing. If your hands stay open and adjust with the current, you get all the water you need.
Happiness keeps moving. The Self doesn’t. Our job is simply to stay open enough to remain in contact with both.
Meredith, that idea of happiness moving really rings true over time. It’s easy to keep chasing the next place it might be. Slowing down and looking inward shifts things in a different way.