Entitlement is Killing Us
And how insecurity and an unexamined life are the cause.
I’m currently enjoying a long-awaited holiday in Europe with my husband. We originally planned this trip for February 2020, but life had other plans, so it feels especially rewarding to finally be here.
So far, we’ve been to France and Switzerland, and the people have been so friendly. However, the other day we visited a tourist destination in Zermatt, and I witnessed something appalling.
A woman in her early 60s who had just climbed a long flight of stairs was relieved to sit down on a bench. Beside her was a young woman who was having her photo taken by a friend. The young woman turned to the older woman and said, “Do you mind? I’m getting my photo taken.”
The older woman didn’t object and stayed seated.
Growing impatient, the young woman repeated herself, “Do you mind moving? I’m getting my photo taken.”
The older woman quietly remained seated, ignoring the second request.
Frustrated, the young woman lost her temper and swore at the older lady. Taken aback, the older woman calmly responded, “Young lady, do you mind? I’m tired and I need to sit.”
The young woman swore again, while the older woman ignored her and stayed exactly where she was.
Both women had the right to be there. However, to assume that someone should move, especially an older person, just so that you can take a perfect photo or selfie is the height of ego and entitlement.
Entitlement is Ego
Entitlement is a belief that stems from an over-exaggerated opinion of oneself. Where one believes that they deserve certain privileges without putting in any effort.
At its core, entitlement reflects a belief that “I deserve to have what I want.” This belief is driven by the ego, the part of the psyche concerned with self-importance and status.
The ego is inherently selfish and self-centred.
A person with a sense of entitlement places themselves at the centre of the universe and amplifies the sense that their needs, desires, or opinions are more important than others.
Entitlement Harms Mental Health
Entitlement sets people up for a harsh collision with reality. When life doesn’t meet their inflated expectations, the result is disappointment, intense frustration, stress, bitterness and unhappiness.
This cycle of unmet expectations and perceived injustice fosters a victim mentality, which can lead to depression and emotional volatility.
When someone believes they are always right or deserving regardless of effort, they are less likely to adapt, learn from failure, or take constructive criticism. This leads to a fragile sense of self-worth that’s easily shattered by real-world challenges.
Consequently, their capacity to cope with adversity diminishes, leaving them more vulnerable to anxiety, helplessness, and emotional breakdowns when life gets hard.
How to Break the Cycle?
Overcoming entitlement begins with self-awareness. Breaking the cycle requires consistent effort and humility. Below are a few steps toward mental wellness and emotional balance:
Examine your life: Seek wisdom, gain clarity and inner strength. Focus on what you have, rather than what you believe you deserve.
Be kind: Everyone is fighting their own battles.
Cultivate empathy: Understanding others’ struggles helps break the illusion of special status and fosters compassion.
Accept responsibility: Owning your mistakes and shortcomings is a powerful step toward emotional maturity and resilience.
Final Thoughts
Entitlement may seem like a protective shield, a way to assert control or self-worth, but in reality, it isolates, disappoints, and erodes mental well-being.
True strength lies not in demanding the world to bend to your will, but in adapting to it with humility and a willingness to grow.
Hope you enjoyed reading these words. Please help others find it by dropping a heart or leaving a comment. Thank you.
Till next week.
All the best,
I’ve been talking to my grandchildren about entitlement and how they are so fortunate to have the benefits of many financial and social advantages in life. They do listen. At times.
I’m forwarding your essay to them.
this is good. expect nothing / accept everything. i’m totally onboard.
“Entitlement may seem like a way to assert control or self-worth, but in reality, it isolates, disappoints, and erodes mental well-being.” nicely put!
i wonder how to present the notion of breaking this cycle to someone who is too entitled to realize they even need to break the cycle. i suppose a generic call for self-reflection/awareness without labeling it entitlement may lead to the realization or ah-ha moment for said person to think, “gosh, i’m so self-centered, i’m such an ass, i want to change.” ???? this is a discussion that feels worthy for an already empathetic person who wishes to confront an entitled person. at least therapeutic in some way.
side note: my family of 4 also had our trip booked to Spain in March 2020. needless to say, everything was cancelled and refunded. we have yet to fly internationally. happy travels!