A true article-i think most parents do the best they can-sadly for the ones who have grown up in an environment of trauma their is then a whole lifetime for the child of trying to get back to who they really are. Parents are learning as they go, it can be painful all round, but we are gifted with the precious gift of a child, we need to nurture and lead by example. If not, parents will then re-live their whole parenting life as they watch their child experiencing, re-claiming themselves. If we are awake we are learning from our children from the moment of their birth, we can teach & learn from each other. Life can be complex by nature and nurture.
Yes, very good reminder .... this is a hard lesson I learnt with my children. I only corrected it after my kids became adults (unfortunately). It is never too late to stop trying to change children to our liking. It is also a delicate line because we need to guide children when they are young; it may not be enough to simply let them do as they please. Thank you for sharing.
I have faced this a lot in my childhood. But am ensuring that atleast my kids wont be facing the same and striving to giving them right environment to thrive.
Until I learnt the meaning real discipline (to teach) I was inflicting the fear in my kids through punishment, timeouts and stuffs. But when I learnt that the purpose of discipline was to teach and not force the lesson into their minds. Things started to shift. I try to teach them when they are ready. Most parents I see now out are trying to prove their point when the child is not ready. It's like pouring oil in a raging fire. I did do this but when I discovered I started being calm. Actually I use this with my dad too and the conflicts between us is nowhere now.
Oh this strikes such a chord, Meredith! So many parents force their child to follow their wishes under the misplaced point of discipline. It's not discipline; it's enforced fear... and it's why we grow up frightened and resentful towards our elders.
Many Indic sages have advocated an approach of letting children find their own growth path.
Sadhguru, for instance, says you raise cattle, you nurture a child. Swami Vivekananda taught us that we should treat children like plants: create a fertile environment for their organic growth while removing/pruning the obstacles from the path.
Thank you so much. Yes, what’s often called discipline is really just fear in disguise, and it disconnects children from their natural confidence and curiosity. Children don’t need to be raised; they need to be nurtured. When we create the right conditions, they grow naturally strong, balanced, and free.
Us adults have experienced what it is to have natural gifts suppressed, and we then have to peel back the layers to get to our inner child.
I would love to see a world where children are seen as wise, unfiltered souls, that We can learn from...not the other way round.
And as I read your article, I thought in parallel about our own inner child and how we parent it.
Your words here are how I observe myself, to Nurture the child within.
"In the same way, deep within every child are the seeds of their potential. That’s why they light up when doing certain things — why they seem so alive in some activities and not in others. That spark is the clearest sign of their nature, of what they’re designed to be."
So glad this resonated with you Vivienne, as I think it would with many parents.
You’ve expressed something so profound: how much of adulthood is really about unlearning the conditioning that buried our natural gifts.
I love how you drew the parallel between parenting children and parenting our inner child. The same principles apply: patience, encouragement, and giving ourselves permission to just be.
Thank you for this reflection; your words feel like a continuation of the essay itself 🤍
A true article-i think most parents do the best they can-sadly for the ones who have grown up in an environment of trauma their is then a whole lifetime for the child of trying to get back to who they really are. Parents are learning as they go, it can be painful all round, but we are gifted with the precious gift of a child, we need to nurture and lead by example. If not, parents will then re-live their whole parenting life as they watch their child experiencing, re-claiming themselves. If we are awake we are learning from our children from the moment of their birth, we can teach & learn from each other. Life can be complex by nature and nurture.
Yes, most parents truly do the best they can with the awareness they have at the time. Thanks for reading Amilia… as always appreciate your input 🤍
Yes, very good reminder .... this is a hard lesson I learnt with my children. I only corrected it after my kids became adults (unfortunately). It is never too late to stop trying to change children to our liking. It is also a delicate line because we need to guide children when they are young; it may not be enough to simply let them do as they please. Thank you for sharing.
Allowing a child to follow their nature is very different to letting them do what they want.
I have faced this a lot in my childhood. But am ensuring that atleast my kids wont be facing the same and striving to giving them right environment to thrive.
Today discipline has been so much misunderstood.
That’s great for your kids. Do essential. Can you explain what you mean by today discipline has been misunderstood.
Until I learnt the meaning real discipline (to teach) I was inflicting the fear in my kids through punishment, timeouts and stuffs. But when I learnt that the purpose of discipline was to teach and not force the lesson into their minds. Things started to shift. I try to teach them when they are ready. Most parents I see now out are trying to prove their point when the child is not ready. It's like pouring oil in a raging fire. I did do this but when I discovered I started being calm. Actually I use this with my dad too and the conflicts between us is nowhere now.
Oh this strikes such a chord, Meredith! So many parents force their child to follow their wishes under the misplaced point of discipline. It's not discipline; it's enforced fear... and it's why we grow up frightened and resentful towards our elders.
Many Indic sages have advocated an approach of letting children find their own growth path.
Sadhguru, for instance, says you raise cattle, you nurture a child. Swami Vivekananda taught us that we should treat children like plants: create a fertile environment for their organic growth while removing/pruning the obstacles from the path.
Thank you so much. Yes, what’s often called discipline is really just fear in disguise, and it disconnects children from their natural confidence and curiosity. Children don’t need to be raised; they need to be nurtured. When we create the right conditions, they grow naturally strong, balanced, and free.
I feel this so powerfully too.
It is something I am very passionate about.
Us adults have experienced what it is to have natural gifts suppressed, and we then have to peel back the layers to get to our inner child.
I would love to see a world where children are seen as wise, unfiltered souls, that We can learn from...not the other way round.
And as I read your article, I thought in parallel about our own inner child and how we parent it.
Your words here are how I observe myself, to Nurture the child within.
"In the same way, deep within every child are the seeds of their potential. That’s why they light up when doing certain things — why they seem so alive in some activities and not in others. That spark is the clearest sign of their nature, of what they’re designed to be."
✨️✨️✨️
So glad this resonated with you Vivienne, as I think it would with many parents.
You’ve expressed something so profound: how much of adulthood is really about unlearning the conditioning that buried our natural gifts.
I love how you drew the parallel between parenting children and parenting our inner child. The same principles apply: patience, encouragement, and giving ourselves permission to just be.
Thank you for this reflection; your words feel like a continuation of the essay itself 🤍